If I can give you one piece of advice, as a parent, it is this: Think about the consequences of your actions.
Children are resilient. They are also manipulative by nature. They know that if they say "I hate you" to Mommy or Daddy, there will be usually be a wince (ouch!) and they try to use that to manipulate you into doing what they want. Ultimately, if you give in to this, you will actually lose their respect and their need to please authority figures in their lives. So don't give in!
It's their way of "training" us to do what they want. Think about it. They've been training us since they were born - and we just forgot that it's our job to resist at the right time, and take over.
Take back control. Remind yourself over and over that they DO love you, no matter how many times they say they won't if you don't buy them what they want. It's their job to test the boundaries, and they become very good at it. But we MUST do our duty as parents and be BETTER at holding firm than they are at pushing. Otherwise, we will be the ones who lose in the long run.
Imagine this. Your son or daughter is an adult and their child - your grandchild - has begun doing to them what he or she did to you. You son or daughter is going to figure out that you GAVE IN, and did them a disservice, and what is worse, they are left now with no role model to show them how to do it correctly. Do you seriously want to be the grandmother or grandfather who is a disappointment to your child?
I know you don't. So stand firm. Don't give in. Realize it is for their own good that you say, "No." And make them stop with the guilt trips. Because you said so is actually legitimate. You are the parent, and you HAVE the authority. You will be glad you did.
Children are resilient. They are also manipulative by nature. They know that if they say "I hate you" to Mommy or Daddy, there will be usually be a wince (ouch!) and they try to use that to manipulate you into doing what they want. Ultimately, if you give in to this, you will actually lose their respect and their need to please authority figures in their lives. So don't give in!
It's their way of "training" us to do what they want. Think about it. They've been training us since they were born - and we just forgot that it's our job to resist at the right time, and take over.
Take back control. Remind yourself over and over that they DO love you, no matter how many times they say they won't if you don't buy them what they want. It's their job to test the boundaries, and they become very good at it. But we MUST do our duty as parents and be BETTER at holding firm than they are at pushing. Otherwise, we will be the ones who lose in the long run.
Imagine this. Your son or daughter is an adult and their child - your grandchild - has begun doing to them what he or she did to you. You son or daughter is going to figure out that you GAVE IN, and did them a disservice, and what is worse, they are left now with no role model to show them how to do it correctly. Do you seriously want to be the grandmother or grandfather who is a disappointment to your child?
I know you don't. So stand firm. Don't give in. Realize it is for their own good that you say, "No." And make them stop with the guilt trips. Because you said so is actually legitimate. You are the parent, and you HAVE the authority. You will be glad you did.
